Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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