shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
