Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize