I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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