does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
