absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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