we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
