he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize