i think i have two assholes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
