I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
home. puking in laundry basket.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
