i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
