You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
