I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so let's talk penis.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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