My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
