I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
me + whiskey = a bad person
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
