toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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