No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry about my life...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
