I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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