I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
