dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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