Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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