i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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