she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh god it's open bar.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
