ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
