1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
