I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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