You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
