I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so let's talk penis.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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