You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
