I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
