hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
