Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
