I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
