i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
