so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
