Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize