I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
