That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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