So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
