hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
