Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
