I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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