So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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