In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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