hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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