She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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