She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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