You're a womanizer and a bitch.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
