i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
