he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
