SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
