I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize