careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
