i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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