you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
