The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize