A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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