Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
