I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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