My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
