My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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