Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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