so explain again why im purple
no
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Say something about gay babies.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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