plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We're too hungover to prance.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
