ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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