my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize