and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
