We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
