we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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