That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
