just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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